Merry Christmas 2014

Merry Christmas, everybody! I hope you are all having a wonderful morning filled with love and laughter!

This Christmas I am reminded of how blessed I am. I'm surrounded by people I love and we are eating such delicious food! It truly is great having a day relaxing with my family and getting to spend some quality time with them.

My family is pretty big on traditions. Since before I can remember, we have done the same thing every Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving is spent with my mom's side of the family and Christmas is spent with my dad's. Every Christmas morning, my family wakes up early and all gather in my parents room. My sister and I descend the stairs together so that we can both experience the surprise of all the presents. We sit in the same seats every year around the tree and we always start with the stockings. Stockings consist of makeup, candy and jewelry. We then go around the room exchanging gifts to each other. We sit in anticipation for each gift because each one is always so thought out. There's usually cheering as someone opens an especially exciting gift! 

After all the gifts are open, we put on a fashion show of everything we got. There's lots of Ooooing and Ahhhing. We eat breakfast and get ready for the day. We head to my Grandma Kitt's house for Christmas part 2! The present pile at her house is absolutely massive! We open presents here and spend the day relaxing with family and end the day with a feast!

I love Christmas. I love our traditions. I love my family.

This year's Christmas is a little different for us. 

It is the first Christmas since we lost my grandma. It has almost been a year since she passed. I still miss her just as much as I did then. I miss her everyday but especially today. There is a hole in our Christmas without her. I miss her laugh and her smile as we would open presents from her. I miss her stubbornness when we would try to get her to sit down and stop working in the kitchen. I miss her hugs. I miss her stories. I miss her influence in my life. 

Christmas is different this year without her. Our traditions are all thrown out the window. This family is going to have to find new traditions. I pray our new normal is as good as our old normal. 

As for today, I'm going to love on my family and be thankful for everything I have! I'm also going to wear a super cute outfit I know Grandma Kitt would be proud of.

God Bless you all! Merry Christmas!

(Photos from tumblr.com)

Bachelorette Party at it's Finest

I really thought that over break I would be able to post twice a week on here, but with the wedding almost three weeks away and Christmas next week, I am just as busy as ever. Instead of school, my days consist of wedding tasks, Christmas shopping and keeping an eye on Josey, who seems to have lost her mind lately. The one thing that is really a blessing is that I am catching up on sleep! It isn't until you start to sleep really well that your body finally shows you the damage that was being done before. 

Speaking of no sleep, last weekend was my Bachelorette Party! According to my sister, "what happens at the Bachelorette Party stays at the Bachelorette Party", but I will share a little. =)

The party started off a little fuzzy...

Becky was my ride to the beach house in Bethany and she had asked me earlier if it would be ok if we made a pit-stop to watch her little sister sing a solo in her school's Christmas program. Of course! Her little sister is adorable and I knew the party didn't really start until the next morning. 

We were at the program for about an hour and to be honest I was getting a little antsy. I was excited for my party, duh! Her sister was up next. Becky, her family and I waited in anticipation for her sister to come out. The song begins, her sister sings two lines and then walks off stage. We look at each other. Maybe she has more lines later? Nope. That was it! I don't think Becky's ever going to live that one down. It was hilarious! Making the bride late for her party for a solo that was maybe 4 seconds long! How dare she!?

We spent most of Saturday shopping at the outlets in Rehobeth. For dinner, we went to a restaurant called, "Irish Eyes". Coincidentally, I had been there before. It is an Irish Pub with live music and the best food you could ever find. Our table sat in silence as we enjoyed our food. It was that good. I saved half of my Reuben sandwich for Johnathan but ended up eating it myself. I'm not sorry either.

My bridesmaid's are really incredible. I feel like you always hear horror stories about bridesmaid's gone bad but my girls are top notch. They all took such great care of me and made sure everything went smoothly. Being a person who needs to have control, I was confident that everything was being taken care of while I just relaxed. 

It was such a great way to end the semester and to spend some time with my closest friends. You really know someone loves you when they agree to be a bridesmaid because it sure isn't a walk in the park! 

Thank you so much to these wonderful women! And a huge huge huge thanks to my Maid of Honor and my sister for planning this whole thing!

What Is My Crazy Life?

At this point, twelve hours a night has become the requirement for me to function normally throughout the day. Of course, this isn't exactly possible, resulting in me not functioning even close to normal. 

It's been a crazy week.

I'd first like to tell you why my family is the worst. They all decided to come into this world really close to Christmas. My mom has a birthday in October, my dad and fiance have birthdays in December, and my sister has a birthday in January. I believe they are all conspiring together to see how close to broke they can get me. And every year...they succeed.  

Last Friday was Johnathan's birthday. I planned a tiny, tiny party that consisted of beer tasting and a baked potato bar (basically I was trying to accumulate wife points early). This was my first time hosting anything and the perfectionist in me was FREAKING out! I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to 1. throw the perfect party 2. make Johnathan proud and 3. make sure he knew how much I loved him. I managed to chill myself out enough to really enjoy the party and I was really satisfied with how it went. I think Johnathan had a pretty banging birthday!

I learned that hosting is a very rewarding activity. I'm almost hoping that this is what God can use me for as a service to Him. Key word is "almost". Guys, I was exhausted. Being an introvert, it took every ounce of my energy to throw this party. By the end, I had nothing left. I was so happy and fulfilled the next day but I could not get myself off the couch. I will have to find a balance because the satisfaction of serving people in my home felt good and felt right.

The next day, John and I went to my friend's wedding which was magical and wonderful and I was an emotional mess. I think weddings become a lot more real when you are about to have one yourself =) My friends stood up in front of everyone and took a vow to love each other forever. That's amazing!

This leads to the fact that we are a month away from our wedding!!! I think I may write a post about the whole engagement process because there is so much to be said about the journey that it is. We are also two days away from being engaged for a year! 

There's other crazy things that happened this week; my dog destroying the apartment, finals, and the Victoria Secret Fashion Show (haha just kidding!).  

All in all, I think this has been a pretty good week. Though I wouldn't mind a more relaxed one in the future...

Bring Chivalry Back

The saying today is that "chivalry is dead". Unfortunately, I'd have to agree...mostly. This breed of men is on the verge of extinction but they are still out there!

Early this morning, I walked out to my car to defrost the windows. I'm a bit petty when it comes to the cold so I sit huddled in the car until the heat does it's thing. Next to me was a man scraping the ice off of his car. When he was done, he came over to my window and asked if I'd like him to clear my windshield. I thanked him profusely and we went about our days. But that small act of kindness stuck with me and I've continued to think about how rare that is today. 

I'm extremely blessed to be marrying a man who is as chivalrous as it comes. He holds my door, he carries my bags, he protects me and makes me feel secure. His parents raised him right and I am eternally grateful for that. 

It is troubling that these values aren't taught or even encourages as of late and there are many factors that go into that. But being a woman of God and knowing what His plan is for us all, I know how truly important these actions are. 

If God blesses Johnathan and I with a son, I want to teach him to be like his father. I want him to respect women enough to see the importance of taking care of them. I want him to do the little things, like holding doors and walking them to their cars. I want to teach our son to treat women the way God intended them to be treated. Yes, women are just as able as men are at opening doors and carrying their bags but that's not the point. The point is to let the men protect you and serve you. 

If God blesses Johnathan and I with a daughter, I want her to allow and encourage the men in her life to treat her with respect. I want her to respect herself enough to let a man protect her and show her this kind of love. I don't want her to put a man down for holding her door because he is making her feel "weak" and "useless". That is not what this man means and he should be praised for going out of his way to help her. 

I thank the man that helped me this morning. He started my day off with a smile. 

(my photos are all from tumblr.com)

Thanksgiving 2014

Here comes my obligatory Thanksgiving post. The holidays are officially here and I don't know if I'm ready. I don't really have a choice do I? 

This year's holidays are weird for my family. It will be the first year without my grandma and a lot of my family members are traveling all around. There's also my wedding that is still being planned, my dad is turning the big 5-0 and my sister is turning 18. My family sticks to traditions pretty religiously but I think we can take these changes head on. Plus, it may just help us to focus on the meaning of each holiday.  

There's so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving and really any day for that matter.

I'm thankful for:

* My family hanging out, preparing Thanksgiving dinner, and watching the parade

* My loving, hardworking fiance who sacrifices turkey and football when he goes to work on Thanksgiving

* My friends and family who are working their butts off to make our wedding run smoothly

* The fact that I don't have student loans weighing down on me

* Having only two more weeks of this semester

* Two adorable pups sleeping at my feet right now

* The smell of winter outside (not thankful for the cold though...just saying)

* Josey's wiggles in the morning

* Drinking coffee and staying in my PJ's until noon

* Apple pie and vanilla ice cream

I wish you all a cozy, warm, relaxing Thanksgiving. I pray we can all focus on those we love and unwind from the craziness of everyday life. Love on each other and don't think about how much you are eating...it's ok...no one's judging you.

Closure

You know the feeling of needing closure? Of course you do. Everyone has that moment. I've been having that feeling a lot lately. I want to get rid of all the baggage (or at least have control over it) before I marry Johnathan. I know, I know, that's not exactly realistic, but I still want to try!

There are certain things in my past that have affected and changed me. Nothing horrific! But still things that I'd like to confront and officially close. There were certain friendships that were extremely toxic to me (and that's as specific as I'm going to get). I've considered writing letters to these people, but then realized that's more effort on my part and to be frank, they really aren't worth it. But I'm still left feeling like that period isn't over for me. 

Are these past friendships hindering the ones I am making today? I believe they are. Because of them I am slow to trust and quick to self-blame. That's not fair. Your friends should not make you feel worthless, but mine did. 

I don't want this lack of self-confidence to take away from my relationship with my soon-to-be husband or the friends I have that actually love me. It takes a long time for me to fully let myself rest in the friendship and allow myself to believe that the fondness goes both ways. 

Your friends should stand up for you.

Your friends should make the effort to see you.

Your friends should include you.

Your friends should care about how you are doing. 

Your friends should build you up.

Your friends should check up on you.

Your friends should encourage you.

Your friends should appreciate you.

Your friends should love you.

Mine didn't. 

Because of this, I am eternally grateful that God put the friends that I have now in my life. Thank you for standing up for me. Thank you for making the effort to see me. Thank you for including me. Thank you for caring about how I am. Thank you for building me up from the bottom where I was. Thank you for checking on me constantly. Thank you for encouraging me every day. Thank you for appreciating me. Thank you for loving me. Each day I work towards loving each and every one of you better because I never want you to feel anything less than adored.

The Happenings

This past week has been insane. I feel like I say this in every post. But I'm serious! This time it was really insane. I find myself exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions. 

I guess the best place to start is at the beginning. 

Last Monday I was having a rough day. I honestly don't remember the details but I think it  consisted of too much school and a melting brain. You feel me? So as I pulled into my apartment complex I couldn't get myself to go in and start being productive. Off to our local humane society I went! 

Earlier that morning, I had heard on the radio that they had a German Shepherd there and I was dying to see her. Her name was Josey and her previous owners had left her tied up in their yard since she was a puppy. For that I must say, Karma's coming for them.

When I saw her I knew she was special. Johnathan and I knew we had to have her! 

Getting her was the tough part. There was a long, drawn out fight with the landlord and Karma's coming for them too. But finally! on Thursday morning we got to go pick up our pup (she's actually 5, not so much a pup).

 She's rotten in the most adorable ways. Right now, she is sleeping on top of a nerf explosion she created. We love her!

Next on the insanity list is my BRIDAL SHOWER! Me! I had a Bridal Shower! None of this seems real.

It was wonderful. It was fun. It was everything I could have wished for. I got to see almost everyone that I love in one day! Everyone put so much work into making that day special for me and it was absolutely perfect. There wasn't one thing that I would have changed! ...Well actually, I would have skipped on the gum balls...I paid for that for two days afterward...but who cares! Not me! Because my people rock!

There is so much for me to be thankful for. I've had a great week! Though to be honest when I say that it was insane that was including the not so wonderful things that have happened as well. I know I don't want this blog to be somewhere that I complain, but I do want it to be real. I'm human and things get to me. School was too much this week. Josey is in the process of being trained and I need more energy in order for that to happen. I haven't spent time with John in at least two weeks. I'm getting to the point of grumpy monster rapidly and it isn't looking good for those who cross my path. I will get through this season but it won't be pretty!

Thank you all for reading! It encourages me every day! Blog day is my favorite day =)