Super Size Me

One year in high school, I made a New Year's resolution to cut out all fast food. I had watched Super Size Me and freaked out. I also really wanted to see how my body changed without it. Though, I never ate a lot of fast food anyway. I, maybe, ate fast food twice a month but I still thought it was a good goal!

I did it! I didn't eat fast food for the entire year. It annoyed the poo out of my parents! To clarify, it only annoyed them when we were on a road trip and we needed to stop for food along the way. Jessie don't eat that crap! (sike, Jessie eat that crap now but not that year!)

To be honest, it wasn't hard unless we were on the road. In those situations, we would go to Subway (not the healthiest place ever but shhh) or somewhere that I could get a salad. 

The results were crazier than I had expected! I had significantly more energy, my skin was less oily and my weight didn't fluctuate as much as before. It also strengthened my self-discipline. I felt awesome making a goal and seeing it through to the end. After the end of that year, I did eat fast food again. But I was making healthier choices. That resolution was something that changed my behavior for the better.

Since then I haven't made another New Year's resolution. I haven't thought of one that I felt as passionately about. If I didn't have a specific, attainable goal then I was just going to set myself up for failure.

But I have been on a healthy kick that I hope sticks around for a while! 

Have you made a New Year's resolution? Did you stick to it?

P.S. Husband, this morning I was getting the stew ready while you were sleeping. Chopping carrots happens to be the loudest activity ever!! Sawwryyy

Josey Bear

This morning I found myself throwing a fit about having to go to the dentist. I threw myself onto the floor, curled up into a tight ball and grumbled to John about "hating my life". Five seconds later I hear a *thump* and Josey is laying next to me sticking her icy nose in my ear. I rolled toward her and buried myself in her fur.

This act alone is HUGE! We have had Josey for a little over a year now and only in the past couple months has she really started to show affection. For the longest time she had only one reaction to any emotion...that was chewing on me.  Happy? She bit my elbow. Mad? She'd chew on my fingers. She hated us petting her and you should have seen the spazz when I would try to hug her!

But in the past two months, she has become the biggest cuddle bear ever! And I am beyond giddy! Each day I will sit myself down on the floor and you can see the excitement fill her up. She will sprint to get a toy to bring me, come running up, her entire body wiggling and plop down in between my legs. Then she will start to roll! She will roll over my one leg and then the next. Flailing her legs in the air and chewing on my pants (the chewing hasn't exactly stopped).

Randomly, throughout the day she will come and rest her head on me asking me to pat her head. My heart sings that she is warming to my affection and that she truly enjoys my love. Though she still requires a lot of personal space...she gives John the "please control your woman" look when I lay next to her on her bed.

I am blessed by her most when she can tell that I am stressed and not feeling great. Just having her lay next to me while I'm throwing a tantrum on the floor creates a peace inside of me. She's my pretty girl and I love her to death!

P.S. Husband, Thank you for driving me to the dentist...every time. Because I'm obviously a non-functional princess toddler. I love you =)

Goals are Hard

If anyone reading knows me even a little bit, they know that I am practically made of goals. I love setting goals for myself and for my husband and for my parents and for my dog....My entire life, I have had specific short-term and long-term goals. But somewhere in the past couple months I have lost all of that. I'm in this super weird period in life where I have absolutely NO individual goals. None. Nada. 

With it being the new year and just having graduated, it is a very uncomfortable feeling to not know what is next or even know what I want to come next. I'm like seriously fickle all of the sudden. I decide I want something then two seconds later I have given up on that goal. I'm grasping for anything resembling a goal! I've started making showering a goal...

Johnathan and I are going through a devotional together and we are on a chapter that is asking us to come up with marriage goals. I fidget and grumble and try to skip questions. I DONT WANNA!! How am I supposed to make marriage goals when I don't even know what I want to do tomorrow!? 

God is really trying to teach me something here. Probably about control and how He has a plan for me. But this lesson is going to need to wrap up soon because the crazy in me is getting pretty high. My right eye is starting to twitch and I'm drooling a lot more than I used to. 

So if you need me, I'll be the girl wandering blindly in a circle. 

P.S. Johnathan! I forgot to P.S. you in the last post! How dare I!? It's because you made me answer all those devotional questions about where you and I want to be in thirty years...Can I say the Caribbean? Can I make that my goal? Good! I think we are getting somewhere now!

Crazy Business

Why are there not enough hours in the day!? 

And I am:

 newly married (have a husband to help me)

 graduated (no more homework)

kidless (I hear they take up a lot of your time)

working part-time (that's less hours than full-time)

How do people with a million more responsibilities than me do this!?!?!

I'm too tired! I'm gonna take a nap...(oh wait...)

Understanding Anxiety

The thing with anxiety and stress is that it is extremely hard to measure its effect on each individual person. Which is why I find it so frustrating when I try to explain to someone that I suffer from anxiety. Most think something along the lines of, "Well duh, so do I. Everyone gets stressed at some point".  This is absolutely true! The only problem is that stress does different things to different people. Not everyone copes or handles stress the same way.

I'm not trying to throw a pity party and complain about how no one "understands" and no one feels bad for me blah blah blah. But when my struggle with anxiety is belittled as something I should just "get over", I realize just how many people don't understand these mental disorders. 

Mental disorder in itself is a terrifying phrase. But to dumb it down and make me feel less like I'm actually sick (which I am most definitely not!), it basically means that my stress and anxiety can, and sometimes does, interfere with my daily activities and sense of well-being.

For the longest time, I did feel like I was sick. I felt that I was failing because I couldn't just "get over" my anxiety and deal with it the way others were. I was ashamed of this weakness that I had. 

But I have grown from there. I have realized that it is something that can be managed. It is something that will only consume and control me if I allow it to. My anxiety is not who I am but it is a part of who I was made. And I don't believe that God makes mistakes. God has used my anxiety to bring me closer to Him. This world and this life does not give much peace of heart or security. But God's peace and His promise of loving me unconditionally is more than enough to bring me out of my panic and worry. 

As long as I am alive on this earth I will be dealing with my stress. It is hard and at some times it does consume and control me. But I serve a Great God and I have a wonderfully supportive husband who do not leave me to my panic.

There really isn't much awareness of the severity of anxiety and the damage that can be done when someone struggling with it is waved off as just complaining or being a baby about something. 

Please don't overlook the real struggle a person with anxiety is having. Yes, everyone feels stressed out from time to time. But those struggling with anxiety are fighting daily against its grip.

P.S. Husband, thank you for loving me through my highs and my lows. Thank you for being a solid rock for me to lean on to. 

Halloweenie

Happy Halloween! 

This is my least favorite holiday but I hope everyone else has fun! 

This is a good day for people who:

1. like being scared (nope)

2. enjoy scary movies (nope)

3. like dressing up in costumes (nope)

4. can think of creative costume ideas (nope)

5. like walking around in the cold (nope)

I have absolutely no plans for tonight! Though maybe I'll go out and buy a butt ton of candy... that sounds like a good plan!

Let me know what you dressed up as in the comments!

P.S. Johnathan, I have trapped a wasp under a tupperware on the table next to me. This is all the scary I need today...you can kill it now.

My Bad

I don't even want to talk about how long it has been since I blogged...

I know! I know!

I was scolded last weekend about it, so I thought I would try to incorporate it back into my schedule. I've been really productive this week which is probably why this is actually happening. 

Though I'm warning you now, when I start studying for my big exam I have a feeling this blog is going to drop pretty low on my to-do list. Gah! I'm graduating in December!!!! Is it here yet?? no? how about now? no??....poop.

This "semester" (if you can even call it that) has been really odd. I don't have any official classes. I am interning at the physical therapy clinic that I worked at all summer and wrapping up all the requirements I need in order to graduate. So I'm in school but I'm never actually in class or at school...it makes doing the schoolwork I have very difficult. NO MOTIVATION!

Since it's been 1,000 years since I last blogged, I don't really know how to catch everyone up. I've been really busy! Interning, projects around the house, hanging out with family and friends, schoolwork, work...living life!

Johnathan and I are LOVING life on the Eastern Shore! 

I got's me some pumpkins! Now my front porch is cute!

We've been having a lot of fun out here! We went to the pumpkin patch, we went to Ocean City for a weekend with friends, we went canoeing! Last week I drove a tractor! Country life really suits us. Though I could really do without the bugs...and the trails of dirt through my house.

John even got Josey into the canoe! She wasn't too happy about it until she found bull frogs. Bull frogs are Josey's new favorite toy...it's pretty ridiculous! Josey is our little predator. This morning she was going crazyyyy about a group of turkeys in our yard! And yesterday she woke John up trying to get at a couple deer!

I'd say life is pretty darn good at the Woo Farm. Busy, but good =)

Until next time! (hopefully that means next week rather than four months from now)

p.s. Johnathan, Our 1 year anniversary is coming up rapidly!! All I have to say is being married to you is the most fun I could ever have =)